How to Operate with a Humanoid: Part 1

A repost from an entry on a previous blog. Dated: 9th February 2012. Before I started dating Drake.

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My life, at present, is incomplete without the presence of a certain Humanoid, who has taken the world by a storm. Yeah, that was a very good joke. But if not that, he’s definitely created storms.

Now dealing with humanoids is a lot tougher than dealing with friends, co-workers, family, seniors, subordinates, pets, servants, slaves, vendors, truck-drivers, third-rate teachers, babies, err… it’s nothing like any of the above. It takes a hell lot of patience. And brain power, to be frank. The most complicated humanoid built on this planet, goes by the alias Drake, or more suitably, the transferred epithet: Humanoid.

When God was distributing emotions and the sense of feeling, this Humanoid was busy, say “reading a book (male Hermione)” or “installing linux (wonder how many times it has been till date)” or “studying (AND he calls ME a nerd)” or “watching a tv show (okay, that’s reasonable)”. If you point this out to him, he’ll say “I’m an atheist, so what you are saying doesn’t make sense. And it’s not funny. And it seems like you’ve got too much time on hands. And it looks like too much hard work. AND (above everything else) I’m not really being rude.” Sigh.

If there’s something humanoids can’t do, it’s being rude. They never mean to be rude, but it incessantly appears that they are so. They’re often misunderstood and hence alienated, which only works to an advantage because humanoids get their strength from solitude. That’s how they recharge their ‘batteries’.

Very often, they’ll want you to leave them alone. At such a point, you actually should. Cause this humanoid already has an embedded neural network system which teaches him how to react in situations. He might be way off target the first time, but when trained with appropriate learning rates and weights which can be altered by backpropogation algorithm, he can prove to be some super-humanoid, after being trained in a supervised way. Plus the fact that he’s already super-intelligent.

Moral of the story… since humanoids are a lot busier than they ought to be and don’t want to listen to your recurrent nagging, they’ll possibly not come across this article anyway, so you’re free to share your opinions. What’s more, is that this is an amazing way to make other under-privileged women around the globe, who face similar ‘problems’. We can all join hands and get to know such species better. Dealing with humanoids may be tough. But not impossible. Especially when you ‘like’ your Humanoid so much.

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