Wedding Frenzy

A quick go through of my Facebook and Instagram feeds these days suggests that an unusually high amount of people in my network are either getting married or attending marriages. Is this what life comes to when you’re all of 23?

Statistically speaking, in the last 2 days, I have found out that 3 of my college friends and acquaintances are getting hitched. Moreover, 4 friends are attending engagements of their friends. That’s a huge amount for someone who has till now only been invited as one of a ‘plus 3’ / ‘and family’ (mom, bro and me) to the weddings of kids of one of dad’s huge number of connections at his office (okay, that’s too much association in one sentence). {Side note: This also gives me anxiety. I really want to lose weight now to look good in any wedding pictures, if I’m ever invited. [Also, request: please invite me guys! Leave it to me to accept/decline. I know I haven’t been in touch with anyone, but remember how cool I used to be? (Confession: I just want to come for the food.)]}

What’s a good age to get married? When you’re settled professionally in life? When you are mentally and emotionally prepared for it? When your parents and society nag you to? When you are so crazily in love with your partner that you cease to see anything else? It sounds like a big time commitment, something very similar to committing to a career. Funnily enough, we are forced into making a choice for our careers, way too early in life, and yet, we somehow exhibit a solid amount of devotion to making it work. There isn’t a lot of flexibility that we are offered. I was told by my father, that I was to do engineering, after my high school, and engineering it was. I never second guessed that decision; perhaps parents have a good enough intuition about what’s good for their kids. I have since then put in my best efforts into making that decision count.

Isn’t choosing a career quite similar to choosing a life partner then? They both require an incredible amount of devotion and commitment. Flashback to the time, when I was studying something else. Quantum information theory. It felt like an imposed career path, even though I had chosen it for myself. I felt out of place in it. I switched to signal processing later, which now seems more of a natural fit. I knew I had to give up on the former. I could not envision myself doing the same thing for the rest of my life!

When I pick my life-partner (yes, I say ‘pick’ because I should have clearly considered several aspects of the life-long relationship that I will pursue, and that it should not be something fate imposes on me or be mere happenstance), I should be comfortable with that person, be ready to have the same kind of interactions for the rest of my life. I should not tire of it and give up midway. Because after investing years into any kind of relationship, professional or personal, it’s very difficult to rebuild the next one or another to the same level.

Am I the only one who thinks that deeply into this? I think the right time to marry someone is when you know the other person well enough. It could be months into a relationship, or even years. It could be when you believe that the union will not hinder your personal growth, only bolster it. When you can accept the other person equally at his/her best and worst. I wonder what other people think of this.

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