Early and mid-twenties are awesome. You’re finally out in the real word and experiencing new things. And some of these experiences are not-so-good. Sometimes things are not in your control. People around you have crazy expectations from you and you just cannot please everyone. And then you have expectations from yourself which are most usually unrealistic enough. Expectations from others? Even worse! I think most of us have an extremely deluded sense of reality. So quite often I find myself at crossroads where I just want to blow my head off or someone else’s until the battle for sanity takes the right turn.
If life were a bell curve it would probably look like this for most people:
So when the illusion of reality hits me, I find myself feeling lost and bogged down by stress and there are a few things that I’m going to try to adopt to keep myself sane.
- My most instinctive reaction when things didn’t go my way, used to be to throw a fit. And that just never helps because it leads to a domino effect of my outbursts pissing off people around me which makes them piss other people off. A boomerang effect may also ensue, where the attacked person just attacks me back. Extremely unproductive.
- The art of giving no f**ks. It helps when I simply assume that the person annoying me is actually far more frustrated than I am/ is simply too dumb and immature.
- When on the cusp of losing my mind, I just hold back and think: Is it really such big a deal? In the heat of the moment it probably seems like hell has broken lose, but with high certainty, it’s probably just an overreaction on my part.
- If some episode triggers negative feelings, I try not to stay idle because then I start looking back at all the horrible things that have happened to me. It’s unproductive and unnecessary.
- People will respect me a lot more if I can keep going and succeed against all odds. Playing the victim card to garner sympathy and attention is just a temporary fix. I need to know how to hold my life together and get back up on my feet after I have fallen hard. And I need to do it well and with grace. Maybe I’ll become an inspiration to someone some day.
- At the same time, there will be people who will absolutely hate my guts for doing well when they won’t be. I’ll try not to take what they say personally, because they’ll probably just be bitter and extremely jealous.
- A sense of detachment. I’m not the biggest fan of Shah Rukh Khan but I came across this interview in which he states a new term coined by him. “Demotional” . A rather not-so-creative portmanteau of the words “detached” and “emotional” . It means being passionate and involved in work, relationships and life in general, but not feeling too bogged down or crazed if something fails. Appreciating the positives and learning from the mistakes.
I’ll end this zen lesson at point #7, because… Harry Potter nerd. This post is mostly for self reference, when I feel like reading some good old trite and fluff on succeeding in this big bad world. I’ll try not to be too appalled if it helps a few fellow human beings though.