I came up with an alter-ego “Anxiety Woman”, following an episode of major anxiety that had started affecting me physically. Which meant a racing heart, light-headedness, nausea and the inability to sit at one place for too long. Like an OCD hypochondriac, I confirmed all of these symptoms and discovered new ones by Googling incessantly on what anxiety attacks feel like. I think that was supposed to make me feel better somehow.
Meet Anxiety Woman, she has no chill. I think she’s gets a bit out of control most times.
Personally I feel that life should be like an ice-cream. Best served chilled without a melt down. Else it turns into a sticky situation. (I swear I write out puns for my amusement alone).
I was browsing through my old college blog where I sound like an effervescent young, innocent and too-mature-for-her age girl, and I must say that 19 year-old me whoops an almost 24 year old me’s ass, big time. I guess that’s what getting a college degree does to you? Of course, I’ve had a lot of experiences that one only tends to encounter as time passes, but given everything, I really need to start sounding more Agony Aunt-like and less ever-Agonizing Auntie-like. Aunt I making sense?
I’m hoping to keep Anxiety Woman at bay. Her super-powers include:
- Drinking ‘large’ to-go coffees that are repeatedly microwaved and heated.
- Procrastinating by cooking or watching trashy videos and then compensating the lack of time by not sleeping enough.
- Stress eating junk and not drinking enough water.
- Having unrealistic expectations from herself in order to become an over-achiever.
- Not knowing when to pause and take a time-out.
- Being in a perpetual state of stress.
As is evident, she’s not the best at stress-management. In her defense, she really does always have a lot on her plate, pun intended. But she gets damn annoying when she gets cranky and throws a fit.
I think one major difference between “current me” and “past me” is that I just get way too involved with the things immediately around me. I can’t seem to distance and dissociate myself to look at the bigger picture. I often end up feeling lost and confused. And before I can even resolve those thoughts, I find myself in a deeper and deeper abyss. I have stopped observing things around me and I am too pre-occupied with my issues to the point of sounding extremely self-involved. I guess I need to start taking myself a little less seriously and be more sorted, as a person. I think I need to start working at it soon enough. Also, this blog needs a better post frequency. I do always have a lot on my mind and loads to comment on.